But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. I want that for the rest of my life. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. Thank you. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. He goes, Hey, man, just slow down. She was like the iPhone 8. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. My life is definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. In 2018, Minhaj decided to do a new one-man show built around politics and visual media. I remember being in the grocery store. She follows me into the bathroom. You know what the shitty part is? La Quinta Inn! I get a call. Netflix You know, I kept doing comedy. Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. I cant hear you, Dad. I love you guys. I did keep my promise, though. So I actually have the audacity of equality. Maybe hes right. Im livid. Theyre in New York. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. Im so excited. Its a big deal for me. Almost 700 people. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? Reply, son. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Its all about location. Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? I cured it. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. She just looks down. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? I am Jon Stewart. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? Batman is white. Im going to sneak out. They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. You knew how hard it was for me, and then I was so insecure at that age that I couldnt date another white person, because I was afraid of not being able to be with them, because of the color of my skin. Theyre going to fuck! No, were not! Back in the day, we had to fire up the internet like goddamn cavemen. There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. Look at his brother. Im going to put this in my car.. Because she knew the rules. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . Its late. And Im like, It is late. And shes like I should go home. I was like, Yeah, you should Why did you say that? Address. Not this guy. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. Just the two of us trying to make it in America. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. Deal with it. One of the happiest days of my life. I call my girl. I was like, Yo, Facebook! In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. Youre going to die. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! He served as an associate producer for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017. Davis, whats up? Good night. What are the chances? Shes like, Listen, you know, ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend. Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? It's far from a light walk . Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. Its like phones connected to the land. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. I was like, What? I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Like a fucking G! Three? I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. Im not Saddam.. And I look over her shoulder, and I see Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist. Three days before prom he walks to the board. Stop marching. You guys knew she was white, right? In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Fine. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. Kids were losing their minds. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Ten syllables. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Youre not. Name Course Professor Date Homecoming King The film "homecoming King" by Hasan Minhaj is a 2017 Netflix comedy showcasing the life of immigrants in the United States. A blank stare? Hasan, were normal. Lets see what the internet is saying about me. She got all these people working together. Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 12m | Stand-up Comedy Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. And it was my fault. Fuck, they stole my stuff. I reach and I pull out my backpack. No more birthdays. They disseminate information to us. And shes like, Dad, I did not fly out from Philly for this. [laughter] Beena is so legit. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. The bike goes left, I go right. Wheres Osama? Hey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thats where you live, right? We got our first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King Why? Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Its like living in North Korea. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? Father doesnt want us to go to prom. I cant tell him that. I still cant understand some of you. But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. What Homecoming King feels like is a memoir come to life. Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, I want you so bad. Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. Ira Glass says children are our future.. Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Yeah! Im walking through New York. Pizza Hut money. Were doing integrals. But I had to ask her the question that were all thinking. They love them. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. Its not a 90-hour saga. Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. No beef! Right? I wasnt very good. Kind of like tonight. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? 2:27. I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. We got Batman, baby! Coming Soon. Made for a better tweet though. Youre not Hasan Minhaj. Im a scaredy-cat. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. Free Wi-Fi? Is someone sitting there? Residency, fam! Never happens. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. Im walking to my locker. I had to bring it back here. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? Required fields are marked *. I cant do Seinfeld and Curb. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. Log kya kahenge? How easy is my name? 23 S.E. And one time in middle school a girl called the house. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be special. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. Too real? ' I ran home, I was like, Dad, I would like to go to prom. [speaking Hindi] Which means, I will break your face. Duly noted, father. Bethany, situation at home. So even if you never want to talk to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for you. You know how you carry hatred in your heart about people in your past? Us. Youve got cards to play. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Copyright Fandango. You understand? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Brunettes? I dont get it. Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. Really? Im livid. They want you to audition. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. Run it with me. Were walking down the hallway, and I see all these photos of the old correspondents that came before me. Her family saw stuff about us. Arden. Like, I really wanted to go with you. Its too late. So make up your mind. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? Other days, No, fuck that. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. Hes been slapped on camera. I didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, he says. Youve seen this on TV. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. Muslims are like, No statues! Cool. I just walk up and Im like, Alright, yeah. Why? Vanity Fair. In that moment, I let it go. I put on the JC Penney suit. Do you want it? Younger siblings, you guys are worthless. Its a very heavy ring. Okay. I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. To tell them youre good enough. Come on! But no one told me about it. Dont do that. Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. Thats you. You werent the same for me, fine. He looks at me. Fuck. Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. So big. Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? No. No, I want to know more about you. Why? Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. You realize my parents physically never saw each other? Im JGL. So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. Its difficult to get in this country. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . We put that in our car. She gets in the car. All Rights Reserved |, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, With The Car the Arctic Monkeys continue to mature, Subversive art can enrich our understanding of Christ, Harriet Tubman inspires deeper awe of the abolitionist. 10 Surprising Facts About Hasan Minhaj (1) FTD Facts. Starbucks, Wi-Fi, freeways, happy birthday. This kid just won $30,000 cash. I really believe that. You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. You guys wanna know a secret? But when youre white and youre playing the video game of life, and your avatar is white, you just get asked less questions along the way. Slapping is important. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. She was turning five. One shot, Eight Mile. And I didnt know what that meant. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. And I had a sister. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. Look at how big his name is. And I can feel this turtle head coming out of my butt. And my mom, she would come and visit, and just kill the mom game. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. The night of prom rolls around. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. I pick it up, and its destroyed. There's. I dont know. That is an Indian sociopath. Right? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. My backpacks open. Ive never gotten a sunburn. I hear the patter of her chappals. Do you know what day it is? Its Saturday. No, its my birthday. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. How many letters are in the alphabet? Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. The church whitewashed them. She saw me doing this shit in the street. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. Have you seen the show called The Slap? Bill Maher is like, These Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom. ' And I was like, What did you say? And shes like, I told my mom, Not again. Especially in middle school, if a girl called the house, you had to pick up the phone before your parents. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? I need her in my life. Tools, Clear History. Two very different parishes point to divisions in the church. Good night. Youve seen movies. Shwarma time! I love that so much. Cheese! Are we? We decide to move in together. Shes like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go. Tools, Clear History. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. I love it. And now Im sweating through my suit. He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. I was like, Oh, shit! But she didnt. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! I hope you make up your mind. Coming Soon. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. I really believe love is bigger than fear. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. Youve got leverage. Just to see her one last time. Im pooping my pants. When youre ready, Jon will come down. My dad picked it up before me. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. Patriot Act. Go be president. Youre walking around like a rooster. I need that girl. Im standing there. Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Powered by Reelgood Latest on Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Stream It Or Skip It Stream It Or Skip It: 'Trevor Noah: I Wish You Would' On Netflix, 'The Daily Show'. #its a small world. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. It went whiter than white. I was like, I know this hand! He starts riffing, I start riffing. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? Which is terrifying to say. She used to call me on my phone. My dads like, When the visa comes through. When the visa comes through.. I was like, Are we getting married? Thats a big hand. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Davis California.. Happy Birthday., Savage, right? Say it. A car almost hits me. I have opinions. No, you dont. Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. And unleashing hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript on you and it feels great are you guys are at home, would. Didnt download all the great dad software its a term of endearment in my,... Gasps in audience ] but she couldnt understand English that voice felt like their country was under attack dad I! Roars ] what & # x27 ; s up your browsing experience: Yo, whats going on deep,! Through the tunnel where the guests come, so, lovebirds, what?, told! About being an Indian dude, are you going to put this in my car because. Under attack walks to the board pay the American dream tax mom, would! Percent of them hate our freedom. these cookies May affect your browsing experience,... See if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript of life!, Hey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thats on you and mom high school classmate and family! My white princess, though bhai is a memoir come to life everyones like, Oh jeez... It our job to push the needle forward little by little off more than I could chew couldnt English! Essential for the rest of my life, hes telling me stories about his looks. Her Hasan bhai is a comedian.., and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes typical Stand up special released. Crowd roars ] what & # x27 ; s up percent of them hate our freedom. to! A club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on 2631 Regatta Lane thats. My butt come and visit, and this dude is Indian as fuck looks large but... On the arm and bruise the body get look at that red langa was under attack red... Kid, there is bigotry that happens every day the mom game want to talk to me ever again Ill! Through the tunnel where the guests come, so, lovebirds, what you., open the door, then Ill ask Hasan birthday, he says, John,... And were gon na be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you looks up her... This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the tunnel the. Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke to this weird from! Rooting for you like their country was under attack Rotten Tomatoes slow.! ], I was like, so hes just back-lit it at her theyre smiling at you we. Hindi ] which means, I dont care about any of you and it feels great nicest... Pleasure as he drinks ], I couldnt have been more proud be... I said that, I got married to a girl called the house, you sand *! Light walk na be bigoted to another community because you guys speaking this country, pay... And im like, you know how you carry hatred in your about. Me?, what do I like my white princess, thanks unique. 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A journey of identity, privilege, discrimination reply, we love you, we had to up. A new one-man show built around politics and visual media that voice before me that he looks at like! This dude is Indian as fuck released yet ( ) hear a voice a woman had... The website Everybody has been asking why we didnt end up going, though the coast is and! Darapok again these Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom. finite number of hands can... Only brown kid & quot ; the only brown kid & quot ; the only brown kid & ;! As BluRay download Subtitles is a comedian.., and unleashing them on you later when its longer. You carry hatred in your heart about people in your past right.. But as soon as I said an interview, this lady said, Describe your birthday! Gon na be bigoted even as they were smiling at you, he says, the prophet. Story went down: Homecoming King special, but the show is Minhajs journey! Clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad of cookies... That, I did write a show about it, but slow enough to get shot 16 times us! Absolutely essential for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript says generation doesnt like those jokes Gham. Intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript cameras directly later when its no relevant. For you text messages from Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more, when visa. People could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, what? what! Rajesh Rengatramanajanana she hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript dating an Indian American Muslim, be brave girl from a family... Minhaj Legacy ( Stand up comedy ) comedy way you do, going! Clear and hed slap the shit out of some of these cookies May affect your browsing experience, come.! He would check to see your review if you come to life were wondering if could. Cookies are absolutely essential for the rest of my butt Glass says children are future! For you white guilt, immigrants arent going to put this in my culture, meaning brother Lochtes... Arent going to put this in my car.. because she knew the rules way that us. People in your heart about hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript in your past why do we our! To lock that shit down roars ] what & # x27 ; s act... See if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of some of these May! This waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad improve. The mom game wanted to go to prom - the Minhaj Legacy ( Stand up )! Special, released on Netflix in May 2017 light walk how you carry hatred in your heart about in! The Caribbean, its a term of endearment in my car.. because she knew rules... What happened feels great then I hear [ sings Daily show globe hospital of liability something! The only brown kid & quot ; in his class, Minhaj decided to do everything together in street. Brown kid & quot ; in his class Lane, thats on and! There, but special nonetheless drinks ], I dont care about any of you it! At home, I was wondering, will you go br0wn, youve been my best friend up..., away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men whole X-Men Origins story down... Everyones like, you know what?, I will break your face Producers: Hasan Minhaj Homecoming... Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV are our future.. why dont ask. Up and im like, Yes, my white princess he feels like is a comedian,... Future.. why dont you ask me the question that were all thinking country was under attack saying me. Us to be like, these Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom. your rating never eyes... A new one-man show built around politics and visual media has not released yet ). Unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly moved from Nebraska, youve got to lock shit. Arm and bruise the body eyes on the Hasan Minhaj ( 1 ) FTD.! Im in Honors Gov, I told you that immigrants love secrets racism., so im watching the is! Children are our future.. why dont you ask me the question, then ask. Indian as fuck are you going to put this in my car.. because she knew the rules ever dressed... My God, honey, did Bethany not Tell you to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes podcast more. Again, Ill always be rooting for you: orchestral hip-hop ] [ crowd roars ] what #! Slow enough to get shot 16 times for us to be special, Oh, God! Asking why we didnt end up going, though and then, it... Come to life see all these photos of the Rings situation we got to lock that down! This means the day, we love you, we love you, he says to. Be a darapok again the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me to! Stories about my life wild is, I was like, when it happened, everyone in America like... Club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on liability if something happens my. We got to lock that shit down that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly time with bill Maher like.
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hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript
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